Dexter recap: Are We Done Yet?

Leave a comment

August 22, 2013 by Susan Miller

Warning: we are really, really annoyed with this show right now.  If you’re still enjoying Dexter, you might not want to read this recap.

So, Vogel's the Brain Surgeon, right?  Is that supposed to still be a mystery?

So, Vogel’s the Brain Surgeon, right? Is that supposed to still be a mystery?

 

Susan: On a scale of 1-10, how angry did this episode make you?  I think I’m at a 9.

Steven: I think your chief problem is that you still care.  I, on the other hand, have resigned myself to disappointment.  Once I realized how many times this ship has changed captains, I also realized that it could not possibly correct course enough to find the same ground it had originally set out to discover.  I don’t know where we’re going, but it certainly ain’t America–unless a ship could somehow end up in Detroit.  I could definitely see the end being something like Detroit.

I still am angry though.  (Maybe a 6, 6-1/2.)  For one, they totally revealed that Vogel is the brain surgeon.  But then in next week’s episode they’re supposedly going to reveal it again.  Are we the only ones watching this thing closely??  She dropped off Zach and then she was holding the brain bottle.  1 plus 1 equals… FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!  No, Dexter writers.  No.  You can’t just pretend there’s suspense!  You can’t just say, “Hey, watch this magic trick” and then shoot us with lighter fluid. It doesn’t work that way.  Well…unless you’re Gob.

I did like that the episode title–“Are We There Yet?”–addressed the growing anxiety of the show’s fan base.  Mainly the anxiety of ending this thing already.  How have I fallen so out of love with Dexter?  We were told from the beginning that he would always be clever and capable, and now his inner monologue has been reduced to either simple observations, “Hey, that’s a sandwich” or sarcastic remarks most teenagers would be embarrassed to utter.  Next time he disagrees with Deb I hope his inner monologue just says, “Not!” and then gives a Borat-esque chuckle.  Would it save the show?  Probably not.  Would I fall asleep less throughout the episode?  I’m going to say a firm  maybe.

Who is your single least-favorite character at this point?  Also, do you have any idea how the show is going to end?

Susan: I guess I just didn’t expect them to love Hannah so much.  I hate that they’re giving Dexter this happy ending with Hannah, and essentially writing off the Rita character as if she never existed.  They’re basically saying that Dexter is cured because now he has a son and a girlfriend, so he doesn’t need to kill anymore.  Um, he had all that with Rita, and he still had to kill, which led to Rita being killed.  Anyone remember that?  Poor Julie Benz.  She must be livid.

As for Vogel, you’d think they would’ve learned their lesson with the season 6 catastrophe.  Didn’t you figure out that Edward James Olmos’ character was dead in the first episode?  They took their sweet time with that reveal too, to the point that almost all of the audience had figured it out by the time they found him in the freezer.  It was like the show had been buffering for a month.

I would love a teenage version of the Dexter monologue.  Or could we have a Deb monologue?  Or a Harrison monologue?  Even a really boring Batista monologue would be preferable to Dexter’s.  And ghost Harry was terrible this week.  He might be the most inconsistent character on television.  Though I suppose it doesn’t count, since he’s part of Dexter’s subconscious.  Have we ever examined how weird that is, by the way?  That’s a pretty odd construct for an anti-hero protagonist.

As for where we’re headed, I’m pretty sure Vogel is going to try to kill Dexter so that she can stop killing.  I think she thinks that if she kills all her patients, she can rid the world of serial killers.  Dexter will escape, probably with the help of Deb, and they’ll all live happily ever after.  Oh, and Hannah will probably die, just for some sort of “tragic” element.  Hannah might be my least favorite character on the show right now.  She and Dexter have zero chemistry together and she seems to have lost all her cutthroat killer-y tendencies that made her so interesting last season.

What do you think?

Steven: Olmos?  I’ve always thought it was Edward James Almost.  ::sound of glass shattering::

I also feel sad for Julie Benz.  It’s just another example of how they were on a solid, logical trajectory those first four seasons.  In fact, the entire foundation of the show has been swapped out several times, which makes for one shaky house and a wildly inconsistent Harry ghost.

My attempts at other voice-overs:

Harrison: Yep, that’s definitely blood all over all my favorite things.  My dad is definitely a serial killer.  Does anyone else notice?  No?  I must be a genius!

Deb: I love you, Dex.  But wait–you’re my brother.  I totally forgot that…again.  It’s so wrong… Or is it?

Batista: Left foot, right foot, breathe in, breathe out, look at Quinn, look at Angie Miller, pretend you are capable of running a department.  Oops, I forgot to breathe! ::Batista collapses, head hitting on side of desk::

I wonder if Hannah and Dexter have lost their chemistry or if I’ve just stopped believing that they should be together.  I’m currently having this problem with Scandal.  I know that Kerry Washington is very attractive and that her character is supposed to be very appealing, but every time Olivia and the President have a moment, I can’t help but think to myself, “Dude, you’re married.”  In fact, in one of the last episodes we watched–we are painfully behind on Scandal–he kept bemoaning the fact.  “But I’m married…” and “I know, Olivia, but my wife…”  He annoyed me so much I wanted to leave the room.  Moral of the story: don’t get all emo about women who aren’t your wife.  Moral of the story #2: I have become a poor judge of chemistry.  On principle.

But back to the matter at hand: bashing Dexter.  Vogel is totally dead-meat.  It will of course be a great twist, though.  So watch out!

Susan: I have a problem with the chemistry on Scandal too!  I think it’s because Olivia is way too hot for Fitz.  Come on Olivia!  Steven and Harrison are way more attractive!  Then again, I think Huck is by far the biggest catch, and he’s the most screwed up, so what do I know?  Oh Scandal.  Such a better show than Dexter.

Anyway…

Have you noticed that now that Angie Miller has fulfilled her long earned plot device, she disappeared?  Seriously, she hasn’t even been in the background of an episode since Batista promoted her over Quinn.  I don’t even think she was there when she got promoted over Quinn.  Argh!  What?  Why?  I need to let it go.

So, it looks like the whole Deb as a PI and in love with Elway thing is over.  Now she’s going to be a cop again.  What was that whole storyline for?  So that Elway could catch Hannah?  Do you think someone will actually catch someone on this show?  Can it happen?  It might break the fragile Miami universe.  Also annoying – didn’t Deb stop being a cop because she couldn’t live with her guilt and because her serial killer brother was actively obstructing justice on all of her cases?  So that’s just over now?  Because of the bad steak?

Thank goodness there are only 4 episodes left.  Are we there yet?

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: