Revenge recap: Grayson Global Goes Boom

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June 1, 2013 by Susan Miller

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's... THE INITIATIVE!

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… THE INITIATIVE!

Susan: Ready to talk some Revenge?  How’d you like that finale?

Steven: I think that was probably the most expensive finale we’ve seen thus far.  I mean, imagine getting all those characters from the Hamptons to Wall Street and then back to the Hamptons, and oh wait, there’s one more scene on Wall Street.  That’s a lot of cab fare.

I think my favorite part was the flash-sideways.  If only Emily had told Jack to look at her earlier…so much heart break could’ve been avoided!  He never would’ve had to marry faux-Manda, nor would she have died in that boat explosion (…seriously this season has been wacky).  I know they were going for dramatic/teary-eyed, but I really think it would’ve been a better climax had Jack shot Conrad (from a mile away with a pistol, a la Robin Hood) and then Emily had just said, “Yo, dude, I’m Amanda.”  There would’ve been tension, more plot to reveal next season–did the bullet kill Conrad? did it even make it to Conrad’s general vicinity?–and Emily could’ve said, “Yo, dude.”  I officially think that you and I should petition the producers to hire us on as writers, because if they just need people to magically arrive to plot points, we’re the man and woman for the job.  We could probably even keep our current jobs!  (Oh no, I feel myself getting mean again.)

Speaking of mean again, I realized why I like Victoria and think she’s a good person:
(a) she’s absolutely mean to every single person on this show
(b) I now dislike everyone on this show
ergo
(c) well, you can make your own deduction here…

Susan: It was just so lazy.  You have two seasons of build up and you decide on that as your big reveal?  Hey Jack, look at me?  I’m Amanda?  NoNoNoNoNo.  The whole thing pissed me off.  But I have to give them some tiny props.  In the end, when they finally killed off Declan, I was legitimately sad about it.  His final scene with Charlotte was so sweet that I actually liked them as a couple again.  Of course, that just made me angrier that Charlotte was still alive, pregnant, and hanging out in that stupider than stupid plot line with her lesbian party friend.  Oh, and Charlotte is totally the reason that Declan died, right?  She lied (for some unknown reason) and told Declan that she was with Daniel instead of lesbian party friend.  So then Declan went to Grayson Global to find her and got all blown up instead.  Poor Declan.  In the end, he wasn’t so bad.

Steven: Not so bad?  This is my wife writing, right?  Declan has been the living worst!  I was sad that he was about to die, but in the way one is sad for a rabid badger when they have to put it out of its misery.  Remember that dog in To Kill a Mockingbird?  It’s sad that Atticus had to shoot it, but it also wouldn’t have been a very good book if that thing had continued to wander around.  Poor Declan, okay, but I’m glad the writers did what they had to, and in the end I have a little more respect for them.  I also hope they’ve saved some bullets.

Susan: I know!  I guess I’m just a sucker after all.  His death certainly intensifies my hatred for Charlotte though.  Now she is the living worst.  I hate that she survived just because she’s Emily’s half-sister.  Blah.  The scenes where Emily and Charlotte try to bond as sisters are so cringe-worthy.  It just doesn’t work for either character or either actress.  Sort of like when Nolan tries to grieve.  It’s just too much of a reach.  How is it possible that they couldn’t happen upon one realistic actor on this show?  There’s got to be good money in it.  Where are you, quality TV actors?  They need your help!

The writers made a lot of missteps this season, but having both Declan and Faux-Manda die really puts things in perspective.  Emily’s revenge plot is not harming the Graysons but has devastated Jack.  Jack – the one person who Emily considered giving up the revenge life for!  I thought it was smart of them to bring that thread back up in the end game of this season.  Going forward, Jack can be a revenge ally for Emily, since he’s basically lost everyone who was important to him.  However, I don’t know how he doesn’t blame Emily for everything, at least initially.  Emily’s going to need a new ally with Aiden potentially killed by Daniel and Nolan in jail for the Initiative plot.

Steven: Those Emily-Charlotte scenes, I think, are supposed to be brimming with dramatic irony.  “You WILL be my sister,” Emily says.  “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.”  It reminds me of another secret kinship. And they’re equally subtle.

I don’t know what Emily’s going to do for an ally.  Maybe she will go with that bank…the one with the commercials.

Susan: Well it’s certainly not going to be Ashley.  Poor, unexplored Ashley.  She had promise for a minute, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Godspeed, Ashley Madekwe.  Maybe check out Scandal next?

RIP, dead Declan.  We'll try to send Charlotte to you soon.

RIP, dead Declan. We’ll try to send Charlotte to you soon.

That’s it, folks.  I’d like to pretend that this was a good season and that we posted this 3 weeks ago.  Let’s just all pretend that together, shall we?  Thanks for reading.  We’ll be back in July with recaps of the final season of Dexter.  See you then.

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