January 24, 2013 by Susan Miller
This week on Revenge, the writers finally spelled everything out for us. Turns out they’ve been overestimating their audience’s intelligence this whole time. Doesn’t feel so great to be outsmarted by a soap opera. Pride aside, here’s what we know now. 1. Carrion is a computer program that can black out NYC in seconds. 2. Stone Haven is a disaster relief company that the Initiative desperately wants to acquire along with Nolan’s black out technology. 3. Padma has been working for the Initiative all season to get Grayson Global, NolCorp, and Carrion under the Initiative’s power. Turns out the first half of the season DID have a purpose after all! Nifty!
How do you solve a problem like Aiden?
Susan: Where does Aiden go from here? He’s mad at the Initiative because they killed his sister. But he’s also mad at Emily because she prevented him from killing Victoria, which led to the Initiative killing his sister. So now what? Seriously, is he going to work with the Initiative to get back at Emily? Or is he going to forgive Emily and defeat the Initiative? OR – will he bring back Emily’s mom and kill her so that Emily knows how it feels? There are just no good answers for Aiden. (In the meantime, he might also want to work on his sniper rifle skills. Slowest trigger finger ever.) Personally, I’m fine with it, because Emily always kissed him weird. (Right? Did anyone else notice their weirdly aggressive beach kiss in this episode? Yuck.) Also, she cried a lot when she was with him. Daniel may be a dummy and related to the enemy, but he never made her cry. Just saying. (Emily+Daniel=4ever.)
Steven: I think you let a problem like Aiden run its course, setting as many interesting obstacles between him and his sister Colleen and hoping he doesn’t get mixed up with the Von Trapp family. Also, is it just me or did that video show that his sister is super dead… If that’s not just me being crazy, then what in the world could they possibly have to offer Aiden in order to entice him to kill Victoria? Another girl with a British accent claiming to be named Colleen? That was pretty indisputable evidence, am I right?
Right now the conflict is between his desire to be with Emily and his desire to save Colleen/ avenge her death. I personally don’t think he’s going about this very wisely. Doesn’t he have a better shot with Emily’s help? Also, why hasn’t he spoken to Takeda at all this season?
Final guesses – who dies on the boat?
Susan: According to the previews, the Amanda is going down sometime in February. I don’t know if that means the next episode, or later during sweeps, but we’re creeping ever closer to the floating arm under the sea. As much as I wish it could be Declan and Charlotte, I’m starting to think it might be Amanda and Jack. They’re getting married, they’ve been duped by Conrad, and Emily is the absentee godmother. All signs point toward a tragic, revenge-filled life for little orphan Carl.
Steven: A new character: Brecken Balderdash from Connecticut. Balderdash also has a long, sordid history with Papa Porter and the Stowaway. Additionally, Balderdash had an affair with Victoria and was a founding member of the Initiative, which he was active in until recruiting the White-haired man and fleeing to Japan to train with Takeda. Oh and he used to drink with Mason Treadwell, or someone. He will be simultaneously shot, strangled, stabbed, drugged, and then drowned in the Amanda by a respective member of each family he’s had dealings with.
Or, you know, it will be the pompous Ryan brother who makes everyone bristle so much when he’s on the screen.
I’m so happy the whale cam is back.
Now Conrad is going to team up with the Ryan brothers to bring casinos to the Hamptons. Naturally. Was this the plan all along? What about the drugs? Why didn’t anyone go to the Graysons a million years ago about this? I’d be okay with the Stowaway turning into a casino. Nolan is much more suited for casino light than dingy boat bar light. Plus, the Initiative could use it to launder money. Everybody wins!
Apparently Daniel knew that Emily was only pretend dating him. Apparently Daniel knows things. Apparently that didn’t stop him from dropping a million dollars on a bottle of bad wine and giving Emily unrestricted access to his client list. Apparently Daniel’s intelligence is a bit of a moving target.
Charlotte’s 18th birthday party was super depressing. Remember that episode at the beginning of the season where she just kept packing and unpacking and trying to find a family member who would take her? All the people on this show who aren’t scheming end up looking so tragic. Simple things like birthdays and baptisms and weddings can’t possibly compete with all the double crossing. At the very least, I hope something (good or bad) happens as a result of her changing her last name to Clarke. Otherwise, there would be no reason to mention her birthday at all. I like to think that Charlotte’s entire character can be summed in one cliche: “all dressed up and nowhere to go.” Le tragique!