Dexter recap: How LaGuerta Got Her Groove Back

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December 13, 2012 by Susan Miller

I love that Masuka remains unscathed to this day.

I love that Masuka remains unscathed to this day

I’d like to go on record and say that I’ve always loved LaGuerta’s scheming ways.  I know most people found her to be an unrealistic villain, but I thought her plans were clever and aggressive and upwardly mobile.  She’s the worst kind of career woman and I always admired her tenacity far more than the bumbling ways she used to flirt with Dexter in season one.  That was just embarrassing.  This week she came up with her best plan yet, and no one (in our house at least) saw it coming.  She plotted to get Estrada released from prison and then waited to see if Dexter took the bait.  Luckily, Estrada enlightened Dexter just in time and all LaGuerta found in that plastic wrapped shipping container was a chainsaw set to go.  The hunt is on for real now, and Dexter is about to start lashing out without a code to guide him.  Merry Christmas, indeed.

Did Deb drug her own water?

Susan: This is another one of those OMG twists that you’re never supposed to see coming that everyone sees coming.  Steven called it during the show and every single Dexter recap on the internet has pages of comments devoted to the theory.  As Hannah herself said, she’s never made a mistake.  Using Deb’s medication isn’t Hannah’s style, and there was no way for her to even get it in the unopened water anyway.  Deb said she’d do whatever it took to keep Dexter away from Hannah, and I’m guessing this was it.  Seems a little psycho, especially in light of her non-sisterly love for Dexter, so I’m curious to see how angry Dexter gets when he finds out.  Because he HAS to find out, right?  His reaction to it is far more interesting than her reveal, so I’m not too bummed about the obvious nature of that twist.

Steven: I thought I was so clever calling this until Susan told me about every other blogger in the world.  I guess it’s okay that we’re posting nearly a week later, so that enough time has passed for the dust to settle.  Bearing in mind what has already been said about Deb drugging herself, I’d like to consider what reason Hannah might have had to drug Deb.  In the now unlikely event that Hannah did do the drugging, it would have more than likely been meant as (a) a warning to Deb, and (b) a test of Dexter’s love for her.  If Dexter had sided with Hannah, she would’ve known that he loved her and also Deb would’ve backed off.  However, in this scenario, Dexter siding with Deb showed where his loyalties lied.

Now for Dexter’s reaction.  If he comes to believe that Deb drugged herself, it could send him to save Hannah.  If that belief is wrong and it turns out that Hannah did drug Deb, then Dexter trying to save her could end very badly for Dexter.  This entire season has been about the struggle of power between Deb and Hannah, and which love will win out.  I think we’ll find out in the finale.

Will Hannah keep quiet?

Susan: I think she will, but I think it depends on your reading of her statement to Dexter: “You should’ve killed me.”  I read that line as wistful and hurt.  For Hannah, death by Dexter would be much more merciful than a life in prison.  However, most of the internet seems to think that it was said vindictively and that she’s going to wreak all kinds of havoc for him in jail.  This certainly makes sense, and I can see a jaded lover taking that route instead of keeping quiet.  It also seems odd that Dexter would choose to turn her in to Deb instead of taking care of her himself, especially with LaGuerta and Matthews closing in.  I suppose he’s blinded by Deb’s accident and wants to do something nice for her since he brought Hannah into their lives in the first place.  Either way, I think Hannah might be the rare guest character that carries over into multiple seasons.  There’s been too much set-up for her arc to end in the next episode.

Steven: I agree that we should/will see more of Hannah McKay.  Maybe there could be a Hannibal Lecter situation, where characters go to visit her.  I also read it as a merciful thing, as in, “The kind thing would’ve been to murder me on your table.”

PIGI: While jogging, Susan and I both agreed that we’d rather be murdered than live in a tiny, maximum prison cell for the next fifty years.  It made me think about the fact that Florida is a state where the death penalty is legal, an idea that the show has played on since the beginning of the series.  Hannah’s desire reminds us that perhaps capital punishment is not as cruel and unusual as some might think.

Stray Thoughts

I’m starting to think that the scenes between LaGuerta and Batista are just there to make the audience crazy.  If LaGuerta had just gone to her ex-husband and close friend Batista with her Dexter suspicions instead of her sworn enemy Captain Matthews, this would have been a much shorter investigation.  Batista has the inside knowledge with Deb and Jamie, but LaGuerta never thinks to mention it to him?  Shenanigans.  People on TV shows never talk to the right people.   Also, Batista is such a dead man.  He told LaGuerta that he wanted to retire on January 1st?  And that he was happy and settled?  And they had a nice little happy chat about the future and happiness and getting off the force?  Congratulations, Angel.  You’re the deadest man on television.

So… Nadia went to Vegas.  Cool.  Why are we devoting time to this story line again?  Are there really pockets of the Dexter fan community who are interested in Quinn and his exploits?  If he doesn’t move to Vegas next week will anyone be happy?  Surprised?  Interested at all?  That whole story with the Koshka’s was such a mess.  They never really fully committed and then it just kept fading away bit by bit without any emotional weight.  It ended up being very similar to the Mos Def arc from season 6.  How does that keep happening to a 13 episode cable show?  Do they really not have enough time to chart out a full story?  The  more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.  I just re-watched season 2, so I know that it wasn’t always this disjointed.  Your laziness is showing, Dexter writers.  Get it together.

Susan’s Finale prediction: Batista dies.  Quinn moves to Vegas.  Dexter kills LaGuerta.  Hannah is set free on a technicality.  Deb kills Hannah.  Credits roll.  Mind explodes.

Steven’s Finale prediction: Batista wins the lottery.  Quinn and Nadia simply stop appearing on the show and then are written out of everybody’s history as if they never existed.  LaGuerta kills Dexter.  Hannah gets a degree in technical writing while in prison.  Deb bakes Hannah a cake.  Opening credits are reworked again.  No one is surprised.

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