October 23, 2012 by Susan Miller
She’s in a coma! Of course. It’s so perfect it hurts. Who could have predicted that Victoria would accidentally push Faux-Manda off the balcony? Really, we should be using mad-libs to come up with these recap speculations. Character + murdery verb + other character + in some beautiful place = next week on Revenge.
Who will get the baby?
Steven: The obvious answer is Jack, right? Therefore, my mad-lib answer will be: Charlotte. Because of a stipulation in Faux-Manda’s will concerning induced-comas, the baby must go to a competent female relative. Charlotte, overwhelmed by the pressure of having to take care of a baby, stuffs the infant in her closet and relapses, falling right into the plans of… I don’t know, the white haired man’s ghost. But honestly, I think I need to take a moment to rearrange my rosters and figure out who is allied with whom. Camp Victoria: Okay, so nobody is on Victoria’s team. Camp Emily: Nolan, but not his sexy accountant, Aiden, Takeda(?), Charlotte, Faux-Manda(?). How about Mama Clarke trying to drown Emily? That was pretty nuts. Is she going to try to drown Faux-Manda too? I don’t think enough terrible stuff has happened to Faux-Manda yet.
Susan: If Faux-Manda has a will, then that means Victoria wrote it and the baby will be shipped off to Declan AKA the place where stories die. Seriously, this baby plot has outlived its purpose. It was only there to keep Emily and Jack apart and now Jack ditched Faux-Manda so there’s really no need for the baby. Maybe Kara will steal it and then Jack will hunt her down and there will be more blood tests and money trails and injuries that result in amnesia. I can’t believe we haven’t had an amnesia story line yet. That’s just lazy.
Will Kara recognize Emily?
Steven: Maybe if Emily falls in a fountain and starts thrashing around. Kara would be another wild card, the least trustworthy yet, to add to this ever intensifying situation. So far Nolan, Aiden, Faux-Manda and Takeda know Emily’s true identity, and at least half of them are definitely on her side. Kara would tip the scales against Emily’s favor. Probably. Until I see them swim together I won’t really know if they’ve buried the hatchet or if the next murdery verb is going to involve Kara and Emily.
Susan: Well, is Kara actually crazy or drugged up crazy or permanently crazy or pretending to be crazy? (Ooh, or is she Tyler crazy? I miss Tyler). She was cozied up next to Faux-Manda in the hospital without giving any indication that she knew she was holding hands with a fake. Can Emily fool Jack AND Kara? It’s been roughly the same amount of time since they’ve seen each other, right? Also, remember last season when Emily went to the White Haired Man’s house and tried to kill him? Was Kara there while Emily and Nolan were tied up in his basement bunker? If they were all lovey loony partners, you’d think she would remember her from that. You’d also think that would put Emily and the Graysons at the top of Kara’s own revenge list. I’m going to go with Kara + murdery verb + Charlotte + Hamptons beach = beautiful revenge drowning… with a twist!
So Takeda WAS conducting a water torture memory maker exercise for Emily in the first episode of the season. I’m oddly comforted by that. I am not so comforted by Emily dissolving into tears in Aiden’s arms at the end of the episode. That is not the Emily Thorne we know and love.
Should we talk about Emily’s wardrobe in this episode? There was just an awful lot of cleavage at that baby shower, no? Maybe that’s all we need to say. Moving on…
Overall, I think this season needs more Emily. She seems to be on the edge of things right now, instead of driving the action and conflict. Sure she ordered Faux-Manda around with her giant earwig (Nolan technology would never be that clunky) but she certainly didn’t plan her baby shower or balcony plummet. We haven’t seen her infinity box all season, and I think the show is suffering without it. Also, get Nolan back in the middle of things with Emily instead of stuck in the side plot with hot accountant. I hope the David Clarke connection will somehow bring that story back to the middle because it’s Declan levels of dreadful on its own.
Declan. Somehow his terrible excuse of a subplot will result in Jack losing the bar. Except not, because his best friends have huge piles of money to burn. Ooh, maybe Emily will find out what happened and decide to revenge him. That is the only possible scenario that would make Declan worth his minimal screen time.