Revenge recap: Back from the dead

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October 4, 2012 by Susan Miller

Emily’s not back from the dead, but she’s prettier than Victoria, so she gets top billing. Suck it, botox!

Fun fact: this TV blog exists because of Revenge. We were late adopters to the nighttime soap, catching up in marathon fashion during the dreadful heat of July.  Steven was absolutely sure he would hate it, and then watched the entire season in 3 days.  When it was over, we fought for weeks about the fate of Victoria Grayson.  Steven knew she was alive, I was convinced she was dead.  Turns out Steven knows more about soap opera tropes than I do.  No show on TV is more fun to predict and I love that the writers have thrown themselves into the soap to make it as unpredictable and dramatic as possible.  Plus, everyone and everything is just so gosh darn pretty.

This week on the prettiest show in television, Nolan and Emily become roomies, Conrad tries to steal his kids’ inheritance, Charlotte sneaks Emily information from her super swanky rehab facility, Ashley is snuggled up with Daniel, Takeda has been recast with a guy with a very unfortunate ponytail, Emily endures some sort of water torture memory maker, Faux-Manda is super pregnant, Jack is super broody, Declan is inexplicably still on the show, clam cam is born and Victoria.  Is.  Alive!  Also there was a flash forward to Jack’s boat on the bottom of a lake with an ominous arm floating around.  We’ll get there.  For now – predictions!

Is Emily ready to kill the white-haired man yet?

Steven: Yes and no, depending on what hydrogen bomb he drops in her lap as she raises the assault riffle to his temple. “What would your brother think, Emily? Oh, that’s right, you didn’t know about your twin…”

Susan: I think it’s too soon.  She couldn’t do it in the finale, but will be able to two episodes later?  No way.  I think either Faux-Manda or her new training buddy/love interest will be the one to kill him off.  Unless of course, the training buddy/love interest is her twin brother…

Is Emily Thorne’s mama going to even be a good-guy in the end? Or will that be yet another twist?

Steven: Wouldn’t it be fun if Emily does all of this work to avenge her mother and father and then THEY turn out to be even more evil than Victoria? Not that I’m saying that will happen. If this were more self-conscious, more subversive of the genre, but it would be fun. Would it be a good ending? Absolutely not!  But it would certainly be different. I don’t particularly like the idea of Emily(real-Amanda)’s mother being a helpless victim of the Graysons, but it certainly does give her more fire, and if there’s anything I totally love about Emily Thorne it is the tremendous amount of fire that drives her on towards the bitter end.

Susan: I think of it as more of a Sirius Black type of situation.  Get the family member back, but they’re all angry and jaded and revengey and end up getting killed for you so that now you’re all alone again and guilt-stricken.  Remember the sucker punch of pregnant Faux-Manda?  No way Emily gets a happy ending this early in the show.

Brooding and Beautiful – do you really need more?

The Female Perspective on Daniel

Emily’s new love interest is nowhere near as cute as Daniel.  There are lots of scenes this week with Jack and Nolan shirtless, and they’re also nowhere near as cute as Daniel.  Is Daniel the cutest soap actor alive?  How are they possibly going to top that?

The Male Perspective on Daniel

Attractive?  Okay.  But is that enough to warrant so much time with him?  I think not. If there is one major fault to soap operas it is their tendency to cast and KEEP pretty actors regardless of great Atlantic Ocean-sized deficits in ability.  How do they work around this?  Give the character no plot and a lot of brooding around.  I am of the opinion that Daniel has two levels: drunk and brooding or cluelessly happy, and very little to actually say or do.  Right now all we are seeing is the prior besotted state.  I’m sure there are also women on the show who couldn’t act their way onto a newspaper ad, but I wouldn’t notice.  Because, as Susan points out, everybody is impossibly beautiful on this show…

Conclusion?  From the prettiest (Emily, Daniel) to the not so pretty (Nolan, new Takeda) there is very little good acting happening on this show.  If you want pretty actors who are also talented at acting, go watch Parenthood.

Stray Thoughts

I was a little disappointed that Charlotte wasn’t having a torrid affair with her rehab counselor.  That poor guy just had to follow her around all episode reminding people about her blood work.  Seriously.  Every scene.  And then he just turned out to be one of Conrad’s henchmen.  Such a dud.

I hope Ashley gets more evil this season.  Conrad called her out in his conversation with Daniel.  I think it’s about time to find out who her conniving half-sister/dead relative/secret closet skeleton is.  Girl power!

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